Monday, December 27

A friend writes [about his dog]

Dear BG & DG:
I know you do not run an advice show, but I do not know where else to turn, and frankly you are both somewhat responsible.  Here is my problem.
My wife’s dog, Karma, is very smart.  Our son taught him to growl whenever he heard Rush Limbaugh’s name or voice.  The dog taught himself to shit anytime he heard Glenn Beck.  (Bad Karma!  No!  Not in the house!)
I am a relatively new iPod convert and only recently discovered how to download your podcasts.  I have taken to listening to your show early in the mornings while I walk the dog.  Karma and I used to go outside, he did his business, and then we’d quickly return to the warmth and comfort of home.  However, lately, I have kept him outside walking while I finish listening to your show.  Extending these walks has created significant tension between the dog and me.
I am afraid that an unintended consequence of your podcast is our formerly progressive dog is becoming more conservative.  Karma is probably already a Blue Dog Democrat.  The other day I caught him dry-humping the television when CNN showed a clip of Mitch McConnell.   For a brief moment I thought that he had devolved into a rabid Republican, but then I discovered that he had simply snatched the toothpaste off the bathroom counter, again. 
My wife and I are at a loss on how to retrain Karma.  When he’s bad, should I swat him with the Wall Street Journal?  Should I get him his own iPod so he can enjoy your show at his leisure?  Should I force him to watch Old Yeller and warn him to get back with the program or else?  Any advice you can offer would be appreciated. 
Happy Holidays and thank you for your insights, information and humor.

I believe in ipods for dogs, if they're permanently tuned to our podcast.  That said, I'm afraid I couldn't improve on Driftglass's answer:

A vexing question indeed.

I know of many Rescue Dog programs that purport give new purpose and direction to older dogs who have developed bad habits.  Perhaps Karma could be trained to sniff out and retrieve Liberal values from beneath the massive piles of Centrist shit under which which they routinely get buried?


1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry to be the messenger here, because I love i-things & weve been fans for a few decades.... but alas, they have a dirty big secret.
    Looks like the big rush on i pads & i pods, has created an environment so harsh, they have a huge suicide rate @ the Apple Chinese mfg site.

    Oh! & here you were posting a light-hearted thing about dogs & podcasts & such.
    But hey-- the truth MUST be told.

    We need to do an i-revolt boycott on Apple.
    To be fair, Dell & HP use the same company for manufacturing. But when Apple's response to suicide jumping workers is to put up steel mesh (cages) & set up nets below to catch the jumpers as a "solution"..... something is Rotten to the core w Apple & their sweatshops.


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