Tuesday, January 5

Breaking: Brit Hume's Christmas Gift Bag for Tiger

A warm welcome to folks coming here from USA Today:

The golf ball rosary.

Really, there are no words.

Brit Hume, who as you know won my never-ending "thank you for being you" award for labeling Michelle Obama as "possibly an arch-liberal," now thinks out loud that Tiger Woods should convert to Christianity, because that religion offers the best deal to get out of Hell free.

I was really bothered by Countdown last night, though, because to address this issue Keith Olbermann had on Dan Savage, who is a terrific writer on sex advice and gay issues. He also apparently has theology training, but admits he is not a Christian. But what bothers me is that Savage asked Keith "where are the liberal Christians speaking out against this?" Savage is absolutely right that Brit Hume is insulting Christianity and Christians by offering Tiger Woods an "easy" way to get his mojo back.

There are lots of liberal Christians who would likely "speak out" on this, if Keith Olbermann wanted to pick up the phone. Olbermann has had on his show in the past Reverend C. Welton Gaddy and Reverend Barry Lynn. There are people at Street Prophets he could have called, or he could have pissed off the street prophets and called Jim Wallis. Olbermann, if it is a particularly slow news night and he needed to fill in a few minutes, could probably have signed Reverend Jesse Jackson to come on in and recite a few couplets on the occasion:

That twice married Mister Hume
About Tiger's soul should not presume
We all know every Christian falls
When their clubs decide where they drop their balls.

One of, certainly not the only, reasons the right has "hijacked" Christianity is that their antics make for much better television than reasonable people's.

Really, Mister Olbermann, there's no reason for Dan Savage to ask you "where are the liberal Christians on this" when those very Christians are listed in your intern's Rolodex.

Rosary and statue from here.


  1. Glad to know that about Keith; I can use the traffic...

  2. ps: very funny statuette!

    Jesus was a pederast...Hoocoodanode?

  3. Anonymous2:36 PM

    Ah, but back in the real world--it's the Christians who are banging around behind the spouses' backs. After all, Jesus offers forgiveness, while Buddha shrugs and asks why you are enmeshed in maya (or maybe Maya...). I calculated infidelity rates for various religious groups, and have some alternative suggestions for the golfer....


  4. oh my stars, looks like the holy johnson is pressed right up against where it should not be.

  5. I don't know about the statue. It looks suspiciously like Jesus only helps *white* kids golf.

    I've said it elsewhere but it bears repeating: Tiger does not need forgiveness from God or from Buddha; the only person whose forgiveness he needs is Elin.

  6. Anonymous5:15 PM

    Instant classic BG


  7. Too funny, the golf goodies are wonderful! From Catholic Supply, it would seem they have learned their lessons of late and at least don't have Jesus doing the "reach around" on the little boy.

  8. You are achieving the holy grail with this one, BG.

    Have you channeled Jesse Jackson before?

    I love it when you talk dirty.


    And a supreme golf joke, no less.

    You go girl!



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