Wednesday, June 18

Free advice for Madison Avenue

Um, okay, I'll bite. The marketing geniuses at Twix want us to blog about this, obviously.

But I just don't know where to begin with this one.

Let me put this very simply, Madison Avenue: a hairdo in an ugly sweater, who pulls a fucking Twix bar out of his pants at a party will never get into mine.

That, plus he is carrying a Ubiquitous Red Cup, and anyone who reads Hot Chicks with Douchebags knows that proximity to a URC, labels him as a definite douche.

And really, you portray this woman as politically obsessive and suffering from verbal diarrhea. She may be Michelle Malkin, for crying out loud. Lefty bloggers in my experience don't talk politics or blogging at parties anyway. That's shop, and it's tacky.

You wouldn't know this, because you are a Madison Avenue douchebag, but blogging is a bit like sex. One does not talk about it constantly if one is doing it well and fairly often.

What really happens at a party like this is, he pulls out a laser printed business card with his url, gets her email and waits three days to use it. Or he's been emailing her for sex, er, I mean, six months, and then she agrees to meet him at a party. She's already hot for him because he's such a good blogger, and so long as he doesn't use a Twix bar to help him think what to say next, the "apartment" thing might just happen.

All he has to do is make sure she isn't Michelle Malkin. Or Pammy. And lose the fucking Twix bar.


  1. Man, they really wrote that from template cliche script # 5.

    Not. Good. Enough.

    Hope they try a little harder on the Cheetos account.


  2. Anonymous5:18 AM

    Obviously this one was aimed at the eleven to thirteen year old male demographic.

  3. ah, blue, you didn't know? this is one of those subliminal messages that madison avenue is so fond of. i have it on good authority that fucking twix bars is all the rage in chelsea this year. and the guy? he just wants to watch. i know, i know, blog it, but there's nothing new under the sun. i'm probably giving away my age, but i can recall when it was a milky way or do without.

  4. I am so glad you posted this. I saw this ad a few days ago but couldn't find the Youtube for it so kind of forgot about it.

  5. i can't get past how this guy looks. the sweater and hair looks like it's from "three's company" or "too close for comfort" (anyone remember monroe?), lo those many, many years ago!

  6. Welp, Three Musketeers it is. Sigh.

  7. Anonymous11:06 AM

    "High Impact Words" are used by MA to make their Ad's more timely and hip. Even if the MA types have no idea what they are talking about.

    My all time fave back in the 80's "Join us for the (store name) marathon 10 K race"


  8. Actually, the Madison Avenue marketing geniuses who produced this just earned their commission! In an eight paragraph post, you mentioned the product name four times!


  9. "Is that a twix bar in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

    Somebody with video editing skills could have some fun with a redub.

    Melts in your mouth, not in my hand.

    It's Thickerer!

  10. Anonymous2:47 PM

    Actually, I think they deserve each other.

    And trust me, it melts in his hand.



  11. What about a Snickers bar? Their chewier!


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