Thursday, September 20

If my mother ruled the world....

From a meme started by Sally Field and continued by Local Crank.

Peace would reign because the only place anyone would go is the grocery store to get dog food, and the thrift store.

If you visit a foreign city, (for instance, Buffalo, New York) you visit whatever art museums are in town and then you can go home because you've "seen everything."

When you go to any art museum, anywhere in the world, you will be given a free headset with my mother's tape-recorded narration of the exhibit, including who each artist was sleeping with at the time they made said painting, with close attention to which twentieth century women artists were lesbians, but Picasso slept with them anyway.

You will also be given a coffee table book of painters she "doesn't particularly care for, but YOUR FATHER likes them."

Nude paintings are part of a great artistic tradition. Internet porn is "very suggestive."

Everyone in the world can have donuts and cold, sweet, milky coffee for breakfast. Save some for the dog.


  1. Anonymous9:29 AM

    Ok, your mom sounds uber cool :)

  2. I think you've captured the things that really matter about art in that description. It isn't depictions - it's the stories. Including who was sleeping with whom, and why.

  3. When I was a child,our family border collie used to get up to have pre-dawn coffee and toast with my great grandmother.
    They would have most of the world's problems wrapped up by dawn,but nobody listened.

  4. your mom is too cool and you are lucky!

  5. that is too cute...

    i have a cat that likes coffee
    go figure

  6. I want to meet your mom.

  7. Thanks for joining the "If My Mom Ruled the World" Viral Meme Project. Your mom sounds like a class act, just like her daughter.
    As for the rest of you, feel free to jump in. What would the world be like if YOUR moms were in charge?

  8. Anonymous10:07 AM

    If my mom ruled the world there would be no war because she would say something like: "you heathens go play quietly because I'm taking a nap. If I hear one peep out of you striped apes I will tan your hides!" No one would doubt her.

    I miss my mom.


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