Wednesday, October 10

I wonder if you can buy this in Alabama? ***

...'cause apparently we need 'em for our Baptist ministers.

No fewer than three fellow bloggers sent me the story about the Alabama Baptist minister who died, alone and at home, with a condom-covered, well, appendage in his nether regions while wearing two wetsuits.

Poor bastard.

I replied to all of them that if this story had not broken yet I wouldn't run it. The guy is not an elected official, and I don't care if he used to work for Falwell he didn't at the time of this incident. If he had been an elected official, even if he did not make any stand on gay rights, then all bets are off and he gets it up the butt again more ways than one.

It also makes a difference that he was in the privacy of his own home and that now he's dead. If he was merely arrested and/or doing this in public or sumpin' that is also fair play.

We liberals are all about "live and let live" and "do what feels good" unless it involves hypocrisy from fundy types. But let's face it, this guy had a seriously funky fetish and he kept it to himself. Wetsuits are expensive and he needed two. And apparently he couldn't tell his wife or anyone else so he'd have a little safety buddy to watch for signs he was getting into trouble and to get him out afterwards.

Poor bastard.

On the other hand, did you hear about the other Baptist minister who was arrested after he...

publically urinated....
at an outdoor car wash...
while wearing a skirt...
in front of several children...
and apparently when the police arrived...
he offered the men in blue...
the oral sex.

The police spokesman said, in a moment of demure understatement and passive-tense reserve, that "alcohol was involved."

There was apparently a bottle of Oxy pills in his car as well. I wonder if his car radio was tuned to Rush? Now see, if I found out that Rush Limbaugh had even LOOKED at a rubberized diving suit while whoring it up in Cancun...see the difference? See?

Back for a minute to the arrested pee-pee skirt minister: that guy deserves to have his name, Tommy Tester, (oh now you know I couldn't make that one up) and picture pasted all over the internet tubes. It's all a matter of journalistic standard practices, people.

***I mus' say I'm surprised what you can get at Cafepress.


  1. i truly agree with you. great post!

  2. This is a really great post BG.

    Your approach to this is greatly admired.

    We live in a very disturbed world, in which, if we can't confront, deal with and finally embrace our own shadows, we are all doomed.

    This poor bastard really did not ever deal with his.

    As someone who was sexually wounded as a child, I must say that I am as uncomfortable with being overly punitive in the wrong ways with sexual offenders as I am with having higher penalties for shooting a cop.

    We are all human. Aren't we?

    It is not joyful for me to watch any offender get tarred and feathered while we ignore the societal root causes.

    That said, the extraordinary levels of hypocrisy of many things disturbs me completely.

  3. BG,

    There is some discussion that Gary was killed by his older brother, who was disowned by his parents...which I'm sure you read in the comments at Agitprop.

  4. I could not be prouder that Tester was arrested not far from our house. Oh baby, ain't TN great!

  5. Ick.

    That reminds me of the story of the woman whose sexual fantasy was to be tortured and killed. After perusing the internet long enough, she found someone willing to do it. And he did.

  6. Anonymous12:24 AM

    What part of "victimless crime" don't people understand? If you're in private and you're not hurting anyone, do whatever the hell you like. You know I do :)

    As for that first guy, it struck me that everyone assumes he was alone. Maybe he had a helper who bailed when the poor dude bought the farm.

  7. Anonymous12:00 PM

    Two wetsuits. Would a killer have used two wetsuits? And they investigated, and nothing. I think it's so elaborate that, to be murder, something would have been left, um, behind.

  8. BG I read about the first guy this morning and decided not to blog about it for the very reasons you have stated. He was in the privacy of his own home, he did not seem to be someone trying to impose his views on others, so if he was into something that ultimately proved to be tragic ... as you said, "poor bastard."


  9. I still don't get the two wetsuits.

    Regarding the shirt, as a teenager I had a button that said, "Support your local medical examiner. Die strangely."

  10. Anonymous9:09 PM


    Since when it is a "crime" to stick a condom-wrapped dildo up one's ass while wearing not one, but two wets suits? Find the statute with those exact words from any State and I'll be inclined to agree that this is a victimless crime.

    There is a victim in this case (perhaps his unsuspecting family) and the crime is that he didn't live to expose his religious hypocrisy and get dragged before the court of media scrutiny.


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